Today is a crappy day.

It's not even one of those cute crappy days where I can giggle, or go post about on FML. () Today is one of those days where I don't even want to stab anyone with a spork, I just want to go to bed and wake up and it not be today.


Have you ever just had a day where you looked back at a huge part of your life and think "Welp, I just completely fucked that up, well done." and suddenly you're not sure if it was all your fault, if you are just completely incapable of having success in certain areas of your life?

Don't get me wrong, I'm not talking Emo here, It's not "Woe is me".. but today I found myself so completely sad over something that should mean nothing, and I thought did mean nothing, like- absolute nothing- but then today out of nowhere, I was sad.

Sad because- it got fucked up. I guess it doesn't matter who, or why, or how. It just did. And now that part of my life will never exist again. And it doesn't matter if that's a good thing or not- what matters is- it's gone.

And apparently at some point in my life it was important to me, it was something I wanted, something I had hoped would be successful and a part of my life, and now it isn't.

You spend so much time convincing yourself you are better off, that you're glad it's gone.. and maybe you are... but you weren't always.

So today I guess I am sad for the me that was back then. Back then it meant everything to me, and now it means nothing.


I guess no matter how certain we are, we are never really 100% sure until somewhere later in life we can look back and say "Yap, that was the right decision", and today just isn't that day.

Bright blessings you guys, make sure you happy, wherever you are in life.