Inspired, a personalized spinoff of something from SO.

I’m at work and I’m sitting in front of a laptop, typing my life away.

I’m on a swing in grade school when she tells me I am ugly and I don't know if I should believe her.

I’m in standing in the court house starting the rest of my life.

I'm on the phone leaving him a message begging him not to leave me.

I’m standing in the doorway of her bedroom when I see my mother with another woman and I know nothing will be the same.

I’m standing alone in the shower soaked and alone having my first orgasm.

I’m on a inner tube at the water park when she falls asleep on my chest and I fall in love, again.

I’m in a funeral home looking at my great grandmother and wondering who she was.

I’m waking up on the kitchen floor wondering if I will die alone.

I’m sitting on the living room floor crying because he won't let me play the drums.

I’m fighting for my life and losing.

I am staring in the mirror when I make myself admit to being fat for the first time.

I’m sending in the application for the most important job of my life.

I’m standing in the mud listening to his speech, realizing he is going to be the next President, and we're going to be okay afterall.

I’m sitting on my bed taking off my ballet shoes, knowing I will never dance again.

I am all of these things, living all of these moments at once.

I’m at work and I’m sitting in front of a laptop, typing my life away.

Hope, love, life

It seems like it is never often enough that we get the chance to spread the messages of hope, faith, life, or love. We're so busy living our own lives, taking for granted our own miracles and blessings that we forget that everyday there is a family struggling to face that which but for the grace of God we go.

Earlier this year I was facing serious medical concerns. All initial tests and symptoms pointed to AML (Acute Myelogenous Leukemia) and when I started the research my heart and stomach hit the floor before my knees could to pray. However, after a month of in and out testing and several doctors later- it was discovered that I have SLE (Systemic Lupus Erythematosus, just "Lupus" for short). I will admit that it hasn't been easy, and there are times I find myself struggling more with the anger and hurt of being sick more than the actual symptoms themselves. However- I have never been more humble than I am today.


At the same time that I was facing my diagnosis a friend of mine's father was getting sick. He was eventually tested, and diagnosed with AML, and has struggled through treatment and to keep one step ahead of this disease for the better part of the last year. Recently his Dr. told him that he had lost the battle and that there was nothing else they could do for him.

His doctor obviously didn't know my friend Sara (the patients daughter) or the strength, love, energy, and power that this woman carries with her in her heart.

Maybe there is nothing else THAT Dr. could do for PapaAmore, but there is so much WE can do for him. Pray. Research. Make calls. Ask questions. Help find resources, studies, treatments. Everyone knows someone who holds the solution to another person's problems, it's all about network. And it's all about getting the word out. To each other, to God.

Do not give up. Believe. Fight. Love.

http://papamore.blogspot.com/

I invite you, no, I beg you to visit Sara's blog, the journey of her father's fight for his life, her fight for his life. So many miracles are already happening, so quickly.. already he has a new Dr., a new medicine, an invitation to the University of Chicago Lukemia center, someone who has offered to fly him.

The wheels are turning, God is listening. Be a part of something great. Even if all you can do is read, and pass the link on to someone else. If you can't help- you know someone who can, you just may not realize it.


There but for the grace of God go I..

Tee-hee.

Someone who reads the blog sent this to me this morning, they said they came across it on the internet and I was the first person they thought of- and were sure I was one of few who would appreciate it.

Have I mentioned how much I love people and randomness?
You get me, you really really get me.


Me and Superman.. we're like peas in a pod.

Comicbooks and ballet- and you guys thought I was just being silly.

Holy Batman, where did the year ago?

Happy New Year everyone!


Looking back at 2008 I have to admit- a good chunk of it sucked. BUT! .. the good news is that when you have hit bottom.. you have nowhere to go ... but up!


So what then- is my New Years Resolution?

I made a list:


1. I will limit the amount of cheese I eat to a rational amount, rational of course being completely left up for me to define. =)

2. I will spend more time reading in the park, working out at the gym, and sitting in the rain.

3. I will remember that "I will call you back" does not mean "goodbye"- it actually means you will call people back- so not to say it if I don't plan on calling back.

4. I will continue to love him, endlessly, but perhaps better.

5. I will water the seeds- and not the weeds.

6. I will relax more, but stop wasting time.

7. I will let go. Of hurt, of confusion, of sadness, of anger, of fear. I will live again. One day at a time, and when need be- one minute at a time. But I will live every minute fully.

8. If I choose to remember someone- I will remember them for something good- or not at all.

9. I will remember that we do each teach others how to treat us, and I will remember my worth when doing so.

10. I will laugh when I want to laugh, sing when I want to sing, dance when I want to dance, and sometimes I will do all the three at the same time no matter who is, or isn't watching.


This is life, and it is good.


Bright blessings!